12 December 2010

Going Going But Not Gone

So I'm not gone, I'm on a hiatus. Why I am on a hiatus? Because now that I don't work on a job that is outside of my house I am never home. I'm running here and there and all over the damn place doing you know I don't even know what really.

I work at school, I help out but that is only once a week. I enjoy it. I get to have lunch with Sweet Girl. I like it. And for some reason EVERY kid in her class wants to sit next to me. I am pretty popular with the 6 year old crowd. I'm not sure what this says about me. I'm just THAT exiting I guess. Or I'm just THAT exciting that someone who ISN'T six wants to hang out with me.

And I work on my Girl Scout stuff which I am sadly behind on. I was doing so good, when I worked because I did all my personal stuff on the clock (I know brilliant isn't it? But I got my actual work done so it worked out as a win win for everyone, so no judging me here). But now I have no "clock" per se and I'm all over the place. And we're gearing up for Cookie Sales! Woohooo! Lucky us though Daisies can't do booth sales yet, so we can't harass people in front of the store. That's next year. So, I really need a defined schedule so I don't lose my mind for good.

I also, because I am a masochist I guess, became a consultant for Thirty-One Gifts. Now I LOVE a tote, storage tote, purse and if I get the chance to personalize it, well I am in. So if you need storage tote or purse or stationary and want it personalized, visit my website. I LOVE that Large Utility Tote. It kicks all kinds of ass. You want one? You should especially if you have kids and all the crap that accompanies them. And their laundry or their sporting stuff.

The kids are growing, shocking isn't it? I guess that's what they do at this age. But I'm not happy with it. I want the kids that love me and think I'm all knowing. And they must think I'm all knowing right now, or at least Little Man does considering some of the questions he asks me. For example, how does fire get on the ceiling or if we can sell scorpions. Or why is God everywhere. Or if we can buy a baby next time someone comes by selling them. Sure Little Man, we'll do that right after we call the cops.

Our house is all decorated for Christmas (OMG I did in fact SAY Christmas, as in CHRISTmas, you know it is Jesus' birthday, oh there I go again, I said Jesus, and not in vain). And I'm quite sure that Jesus loves all our inflatables. Especially the trippy "snow" globe with lights that will cause someone to seizure. And if I could find one of those plastic nativity scenes you can bet your ass it would be out there. I love those old ones, I'll have to check the Goodwill. And next year, next year I'm going all Griswold on the house.

Speaking of Griswold, how can you NOT love Christmas Vacation? LOVE this movie! Watch it as part of your Christmas tradition....And if you're feeling like Clark and think you want to have everyone over or the perfect Christmas then please don't have this breakdown..."Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse. "

I'll be back again...hopefully not a month plus between posts!


Anonymous said...

You are seriously hilarious! I love how you don't hold back and say what we are all thinking =). Have a very merry Christmas and post some pictures of your house if you have time, lol.

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