I am still not feeling great. It basically feels like I have a sumo wrestler sitting on my chest and I sound like a 90 year old smoker with a nice wheezing cough that hurts my chest and back. I am sure it is quite attractive in both sight and sound as I cross my legs to keep from peeing on myself with my horrible cough.
I am sure the last few posts have seemed somewhat negative in how I've been handling the move and adjustment to Arizona. And that is probably true, I am not doing that great a job with the adjustment and the fact that Sweet Girl and Little Man had trouble with getting dropped off at school, then we had all the sickness and I got sick I was becoming a little resentful and hated the fact we left where I was comfortable, the kids were comfortable and I had everything I needed. But alas after a lot of thought and the fact that I obviously can't go back to TN I will have to just make the best of it here. It's not like I do not LIKE it here, I do. It's like this: You know when you go on vacation and you like where you are and it's pretty and peaceful and you're enjoying yourself but deep down you can't wait to get back to your house and comfort zone? That's what I feel like. I just want to go back to our other house and the kids other school and my comfort zone of friends and family. But I can't go back there.
My realization that I needed to change my attitude (even though a few friends and my mom have said I just need to think of it as an adventure. It is easier said then done in my opinion and if you know me I can't just say OK I'll think like that, I wish I could!) came when I remembered how everything does happen for a reason. I looked back on all the things I was uncomfortable with at that time and struggled with and then saw the usually fruitful opportunity it turned into. So while I do not know what this will result in, I know we are here for a reason and it will be another opportunity for us to grow, learn, adapt and hopefully come out ahead again.
Do I want to stay in AZ forever, actually probably not. After all my years of disliking a small city, I have grown to realize I do like it better. Phoenix is HUGE and sprawling and HUGE. It is actually very overwhelming.
But for now this is where we are supposed to be.
So I will encourage visitors as we would love to show you around our new home and area. And for what it's worth, we have not had any more scorpions in the house or around the house. We have been scorpion free since the last post about them. So come on over!
the paradox of perspective
1 month ago