Leo and I have a horrible time with OUTDOOR decorating at Christmas. We basically suck at this part. I think the inside of my house looks pretty damn good. Our tree kicks ass, we have garlands and wreaths and snowmen and white tree things. It looks GOOD. The outside looks OK this year as well but next year I want lights on the house and Leo doesn't like the roof so we figured in order to get awesomeness on the outside of the house we'll pay someone who is good and ENJOYS doing it.
Here is a recap of our troubles outside:
We were going to do those snazzy icicle lights one year. But they wouldn't hang down and I got two different cord colors. And then we couldn't get the hooks to stay on the gutters. What a serious pain. We gave up.
We tried to do garland on the columns outside our house. Didn't work.
We resorted to just getting those cool deers that are lit. MISTAKE. Have you ever tried to put those damn things together? OMG. We got some on sale at Lowe's last year. They were cool looking. By the time we were done putting them together the doe had a huge gaping hole in her side that looks like we used her for target practice or sucker punched her. And her neck made some horrible creaking noise when it moved. No doubt due to the troubles we had putting her together. The buck he kept falling over, probably due to the troubles putting his stupid legs on. I hate those deer now. There was grapevine parts and the sparkle things all over the garage too. They were left in TN with Leo's aunt and uncle. They got lucky they didn't have to put them together.
This year we got a snowman that changes colors. Again cool in theory until you have to put them together. After I don't know 2 hours of trying, we finally get this thing together. Leo told it multiple times 'I hate you' since it was giving us such grief. It's now staked in the ground. If it falls over it will probably come apart and will just go into the recycle bin.
I can decorate all day long inside, but forget it on the outside.
the paradox of perspective
1 month ago